Supporting Teens During Exams: 5 Stress-Reducing Parenting Strategies
Exams are tough for anyone, but for teenagers, the pressure can feel unbearable. Juggling multiple subjects over a week or two, while also managing expectations from parents, teachers, and themselves, can lead to overwhelming stress.
The Hidden Layers of Exam Anxiety
For teens, exam season isn’t just about sitting down to write a test. It’s the mental load of waking up early, getting to school on time, remembering their equipment, and preparing for subjects they may not feel confident in, or even like.
Add to that, the fear of failure and the pressure to succeed (often projected by others), and it’s no surprise many teens feel defeated before they even start.
Reflecting on when I was a teen, I remember this feeling well. Exams felt more like punishment than an opportunity. Cramming a year’s worth of knowledge into my head in a short period of time left me feeling drained.
Unfortunately, many students begin exam season already assuming they’ll fail. Without proper preparation and emotional support, this mindset becomes self-fulfilling.
When Parental Pressure Backfires
As parents, it’s natural to want the best for our children. But sometimes, our efforts to help (i.e. reminding them what not to do, sharing our regrets, or even reliving our academic failures through them) can feel more like pressure than support.
We forget how exams made us feel - the stress of living up to expectations, the fear of letting down our families, and the sense that our future depended on those few weeks.
So, How Can You Truly Support Your Teen During Exams?
Here are a few practical strategies that can reduce stress and build trust:
1. Find Out What Works Best for Them
Every teen is different. Some thrive on early nights and morning revision. Others may need time to wind down with light activity or creative expression before they can focus.
Instead of enforcing strict routines, work with your teen. Help them identify their peak focus times and support them in creating a schedule that suits their rhythm.
2. Understand Their Real Struggles
The challenge may not just be the subject itself. Does your teen struggle with time management? Are they anxious about getting to school on time? Do they find it hard to concentrate or retain information?
These are often signs of underdeveloped executive functioning skills like working memory, sustained attention, or organisation. Spotting these areas early can help you support them in ways that go beyond academics.
3. Don’t Take It Personally
It’s ironic, many of us give great advice to other people’s kids, but when it’s our own, emotions cloud our judgment. As a mum, I’ve learned that staying calm and treating my teen as an individual, not just “my child,” helps immensely.
Instead of advising from a place of fear, trusting that they’re doing their best. Respect their process and be their safe space, not their critic.
4. Take It One Day at a Time
Teens tend to obsess over the entire exam schedule. They look ahead, worry, and overthink. This can double their stress.
Encourage them to stay present. Help them focus only on today’s exam, and reassure them that tomorrow can wait. This simple shift in mindset can reduce anxiety and increase focus.
5. Use Mantras and Affirmations
Positive mantras and affirmations can make a world of difference. Phrases like:
“This too shall pass”
“You’ve got this”
“One step at a time”
These can ground your teen during tough moments. Saying them out loud, writing them on sticky notes, or keeping them on a phone background can serve as calming reminders.
Even just one or two of these approaches can drastically shift how your teen experiences exams.
Think about how you feel before any exam - be it a Driving Test, Work Assessment, or University Presentation. Now imagine doing it without support. Our teens don’t need more pressure. They need belief, empathy, and reassurance that they are valued, regardless of outcomes.
You may not be able to take the test for them, but you can help them walk into it with confidence and calm.
Peace & Blessings,