Supporting Neurodiverse Children with Impulse Control
As a parent of a neurodiverse child, I can honestly say that impulse control has been one of our biggest challenges.
In my work as a Coach, I’ve come to understand how impulse control is closely tied to executive functioning skills such as emotional regulation (e.g. hitting when upset), and response inhibition (e.g. blurting things out or interrupting conversations).
In real life, these challenges can show up in various ways: overeating (especially treats or favourite foods), engaging in risky behaviours (like leaping off furniture), drawing on walls, or testing how things work - like turning on a hot kettle just to "see what happens."
Interestingly, impulsivity isn’t always a negative thing. Sometimes, it’s what helps us seize an exciting opportunity or spontaneously book that one-day-only discounted holiday. But it can also be scary - especially when your child understands a danger (like touching a hot stove) in theory but still feels compelled to test it out in practice.
This can become especially tricky in school settings, where children may struggle with turn-taking, sharing, or sitting still.
It can be disheartening to repeat the same instructions - “Don’t touch that,” or “Wait your turn” - only to watch your child do the exact opposite within seconds. But there is hope!
While medications are available and can help with impulse control, many non-medical strategies and therapies are just as powerful and effective.
So how can we support our neurodiverse children with impulse control?
1. Environmental Supports
Create a clear and predictable routine to reduce anxiety and impulsivity.
Use visual aids like schedules, timers, and picture cues to support transitions and expectations.
Provide calm, low-stimulation spaces where children can decompress when overwhelmed.
2. Behavioural Strategies
Reinforce positive behaviour using a reward system - this could be a token board, sticker chart, or agreed-upon privileges.
Help your child become aware of their impulses by using checklists or emotion charts.
Pre-teach expectations before entering new or challenging situations.
3. Emotional Regulation Tools
Use emotion charts to help your child recognise and label their feelings.
Teach calming techniques such as deep breathing, counting to 10, or using fidget tools.
Introduce a “break card” that allows them to remove themselves from a situation before losing control.
4. Storytelling & Social Scripts
Narratives (or social stories) that model appropriate behaviour in real-life scenarios can help children understand and apply the right responses when the moment arises.
5. Collaborative and Consistent Support
Whatever tools or strategies you decide to implement, consistency is key. It’s important that everyone involved in your child’s life, i.e. family, teachers, therapists, coaches – all work from the same playbook.
When children receive the same messages and support across environments, they’re more likely to build lasting skills and confidence.
Yes, it takes a village. But perhaps the most important reminder for all of us - parents, carers, and professionals - is this:
Our children are not broken. They’re not being deliberately defiant or trying to frustrate us. They are doing the best they can with the tools they have.
And with our guidance, patience, and belief in them, we can help them build the tools they need to thrive.
Peace & Blessings,