Supporting Neurodivergent Children - Traveling on Long Journeys
For children who are neurodiverse, long journeys—whether it’s a car ride, public transport, or even a flight—can be incredibly stressful and overwhelming.
Neurotypical children often adapt more easily to these situations without needing constant reassurance or support. For neurodiverse children, however, the experience can be much more challenging, and it’s not uncommon for them to develop aversions to traveling long distances.
As parents of neurodiverse children, you may not even realise that this difficulty is a symptom of something deeper. You may have assumed your child was being stubborn or looking for reasons to avoid leaving the house, when in fact, there could be a more complex reason. I have found this is usually due to something physical or emotional happening beneath the surface.
I became acutely aware of this challenge with my own daughter, who would often complain of feeling sick during long car journeys. I noticed that once the journey had started, she couldn’t bear looking out of the window and struggled to focus on devices. I tried multiple solutions such as giving her sips of water and wearing an anti-sickness travel band, but nothing worked.
What I didn’t realize at the time was that her neurodivergent brain was struggling to manage her Executive Function (EF) skills, which tended to go offline during long trips.
Research shows that EF skills are typically weaker in children, which is why they often have a poor sense of time or difficulty with working memory. However, for most neurotypical children, they can still manage relatively well without frequent meltdowns. For neurodiverse children, however, when their EF skills go offline, their amygdala can go into overdrive, triggering a heightened emotional response.
In the physical realm, this can manifest as:
Motion sickness and a feeling of being overwhelmed
Meltdowns with confusion and intense emotions
Anxiety, particularly with the feeling that the journey is never-ending (e.g., constantly asking “Are we there yet?”)
Vomiting or even wetting themselves
The list goes on, and I’m sure many parents reading this can relate and might have their own experiences to add.
Over time, I realized that my daughter’s emotional dysregulation on long trips was largely due to a lack of preparation and tools. For neurotypical children, it's often as simple as throwing a device or some snacks in the backseat to keep them entertained. For a neurodiverse child, however, it’s not always that straightforward. But the good news is, there are strategies that can make a big difference:
1. Plan the Journey Together
Sit down with your child and walk them through the entire trip. Outline the start and end points, including rest stops for toilet breaks and snacks. Talk about the estimated duration of the trip and relate it to something they already understand. For instance, “It will take as long as when we go to the park and have an ice cream afterward—that’s about an hour.”
2. Prepare Them for Possible Challenges
Discuss potential obstacles they may encounter during the journey, such as being stuck in traffic, experiencing turbulence on a flight, or the noise of a subway. The more they know about what to expect, the less likely they are to become dysregulated when something unexpected happens.
3. Provide Coping Strategies
Help your child understand how they might feel during the trip and discuss ways to manage those feelings. For example, if you're stuck in traffic and they become agitated, you can suggest activities like singing songs, playing guessing games, or telling a story to distract them.
4. Give Them a Visual of the Destination
Show your child pictures of where you're going and perhaps let them carry a photo or a small keepsake with them. This helps keep them focused on something positive and gives them a visual representation of the journey’s end.
5. Agree on Comfort Items
Work with your child to decide what items they would like to bring on the journey. Whether it’s a favourite book, a puzzle, or a word search - giving them a sense of control over what they pack can help them feel more comfortable and prepared.
The more you understand how your child becomes dysregulated during long journeys and implement these strategies, the more you’ll be able to support them in managing their emotional responses. Every trip will likely get easier as you continue to adapt and find what works best for your child.
By making small adjustments and providing the right tools, you can help make long journeys less stressful for both you and your neurodiverse child.