Homeschooling A Neurodiverse Child
‘Different, not less. Our children may learn differently, but they are not any less capable of achieving greatness’ - Temple Grandin
I have much respect for any parent managing a child who is neurodiverse.
When it was confirmed that my daughter was neurodiverse, informing her school and seeing what they could put in place to support her was crucial.
It was interesting to see that what was agreed upon re support, compared to what they implemented was not aligned.
There were multiple discussions and adjustments that I had to request, however these were still not put into practice in the way that was agreed.
So making the decision to homeschool was not taken likely.
Having a neurodiverse child at home in the evenings and weekend is nothing compared to having them home 24/7.
Every neurodiverse child is unique in their own way. They are complex beings, with extraordinary minds, and so develop and express themselves in ways neurotypical individuals struggle to understand.
Having my daughter at home has definitely helped me to understand her a lot more. I can also understand why a school wouldn’t have the capacity to give her the full support she required.
My daughters unique mind means that she learns in a way where if the work is too easy, she rushes to complete it, but then gets angry and upset when she has made mistakes, especially when she knows the answer.
If the work is too challenging, she gets bored and becomes distracted. Often this leads to her stimulating herself by drawing/doodling on her worksheet, pulling the string out of her clothes, or finding some way to distract herself which tends to involve the destruction of something.
If the work seems too lengthy, she gets disheartened and overwhelmed, working out the calculations of how much she has to do and how long it will take her. For example, she had to rewrite 10 spelling words, 3 times each. Calculating that she would have to write 33 words, she became emotionally dysregulated, which I had no idea at the time as to why this was happening.
Fortunately, when she gets into this state, I give her space to calm down and come back to me when she is ready. When she had done so, she explained that she became overwhelmed because of the amount of words she had to write. Asking her how we could make this easier for her, she asked to write blocks of 10 and take a break in between.
I also noticed that she struggles with executive function skills such as planning and prioritising, organisation, impulse control - but excels in self-monitoring and task initiation. These are all things that had she not been at home, would’ve taken me longer to recognise.
I actually didn’t realise until I had started homeschooling her, how her unique brain works.
When you really start to pay attention and unpack all the ways in which your neurodiverse child reacts, responds, learns and behaves, you start to respond less from a personal place and more from an understanding, compassionate place - wanting to support them more in their growth.
Homeschooling a neurodiverse child has been one of the biggest challenges I’ve had to encounter in parenting. I learn everyday and constantly remind myself to change my perspective when I fall back into thinking that what she is doing isn’t ‘normal’.
But as challenging as it’s been, it’s also been my biggest lesson. Each day I get an opportunity to give my daughter something she wasn’t getting at school - flexibility and understanding, and with that, we are making homeschooling work in a way that’s best for her and suits her needs.
‘Embracing the journey of parenting a special education child is like witnessing a masterpiece unfold before our eyes. Each brushstroke of their unique abilities paints a story of resilience, determination, and boundless potential’ - W. Lane Ed.D., Special Education Consultant
Peace & Blessings,